I recently watched the new Amy Schumer movie ‘I Feel Pretty‘, and all I can say is if you haven’t watched it yet. GO. It’s hilarious and has such a good girl power message to it. Grab your girlfriends and your daughters and see it. That’s what I did, and I promise you will laugh. I haven’t laughed so hard in a movie since watching ‘Why Him‘ another hilarious movie but not one I’d recommend for a girls night out with your friends and daughters. But, if your movie filter is a little broken, then it’s another movie you might want to watch if you need a crazy belly laugh.
This article is taken from excerpts from my upcoming book. I invite you to stay connected as we endeavour to stop the spin cycle, kill comparison and all the other unhealthy places that we all find ourselves in.
Life isn’t perfect but guess what? The sky isn’t falling… You’ll be okay! There is a word that has been making its way around social media spaces and blogs. From what I can see, it started with Glennon Doyle Melton, the founder of Momastery. The word is Brutiful. It’s usually used in reference to the lives we all live. Our lives are both beautiful and brutal at the same time which gives us brutiful.
This week I would say I’m having a brutiful week. In many ways I have felt like Chicken Little and that the sky is falling. Some days have been filled with the sunshine, great thoughts and high moments. Whilst others have been riddled with angst, frustration, anger and even hurt.
I never imagined I would write an article with this title. The fact that I am is a sad reflection of recent events which have rocked my family. We have found ourselves targeted by hatred, ignorance and, quite frankly, absolute stupidity.
Yes, we’ve experienced hurtful words before. We’ve felt the sting of racism and the bite of careless comments made in poor taste, but never before have we needed to deal with such a torrent of vicious abuse, literally on our own doorstep. Never have we been faced with terrorism in our neighbourhood.
GetRealLive was back at it today with all the latest! Corporate Athlete Coach Ben Young joined us to talk about energy levels. Ben talked all about how your emotional state can dramatically affect your energy levels and also highlighted other key factors. Listen as Ben motivated us and gave pratical tips when it comes to strengthing your overall health.
Andi Andrew joined us from NYC to dicuss Social Media and how Instagram has become a popularity contest for adults. Andi always is fun, witty and inspiring with her down to earth approach to everyday topics.
The Buzz included Starbucks has released it’s most expensive cup of coffee. How much are you willing to pay for your brew? The US lottery is at $500 million and Susan and Scott discussed what they would do with the money.
That Should be A Crime asked the question if ‘passing gas in public’ is a crime. People jumped in on Facebook and weighed in with their opinions as this is an issue really got people stirred up.
Thanks to Our Friends at Readers Digest, here are some secrets from the retailers you should know!
1. The greeters who welcome you to our store aren’t really there to greet you. If we look you in the eye as you’re coming and going, you’re less likely to shoplift.
2. I won’t ask a yes-or-no question like “Can I help you?” Instead, it’s always an open-ended “What can I help you find today?”
3. Many retailers count the shoppers who come in, then calculate the percentage who actually buy something. If I don’t “convert” enough browsers to buyers, I hear from my district manager.
4. New merchandise goes at the front of the store, bargains at the back. The endcaps on the back side of aisles at Target, for instance, usually have items 15 to 75 percent off. If you want a deal, try to figure out when your favorite retailer does its markdowns. Some do them on Thursdays or Fridays, others at the end of the month.
5. When you ask me if something looks good on you and I suggest a different style, take the hint.
6. Sure, I’ll put that sweater on hold for you. But most of the time, you don’t come back. So don’t blame me if I sell it to someone else.
7. My pet peeve? Customers who paw through a stack of shirts. Now I’ve got to spend 15 minutes board-folding that whole pile again.
8. Even though most of us don’t work on commission, sometimes we’re given a salesgoal for each customer. If we meet it consistently, we’ll get bonuses and, eventually, a promotion. So when I tell you about a pair of earrings that would go perfectly with that sweater, I might have an ulterior motive.
9. Please don’t tell the cashier no one was helping you after I brought you six different sweaters in the fitting room. It’s rude.
10. Plenty of stores have great prices on Black Friday, but mine isn’t one of them. Still, you line up and wait for us to open.
11. What is it about fitting rooms that brings out the worst in people? You stick gum to the walls and even leave dirty diapers in there.
12. After you buy something, keep your receipt and pay attention. Most mainstream retailers promise a refund if the item goes on sale within a certain number of days after you buy it. Websites like priceprotectr.com track the prices of hundreds of products from retailers such as Best Buy, Amazon, and Sears.
13. With savings clubs, e-mail deals, coupons, Internet discount codes, and other incentives, fewer and fewer people are paying full price.
14. If a good customer buys a dress, I’ll hang it up for her and put it in a nice plastic bag. But if you’ve been rude to me, I’ll smush it into a bag that’s too small.
15. It is way tacky to buy placemats, use them for your party, then return them to the store. At least wipe off the food crumbs first.
16. If you don’t know a store’s hours, call. We hate the people who come in five minutes before we close and want to shop for a whole wardrobe.
17. Some of us will tell you anything to make the sale. Especially if you haven’t been nice.
18. Literally everyone who returns anything broken claims it broke the first time they used it, no matter when they purchased it. Um, yea right.
19. If you want some extra attention or you need something special, call ahead and see if the store will let you make an appointment for a private visit. In a lot of stores, especially upscale ones, clerks are willing to open a little early or stay there a little late for a loyal customer.
20. Everything gets marked down eventually. Watch and wait for the discount, then pounce.
21. Outlet stores likely sell special outlet merchandise, and it’s not the deal you expect.
22. If I’m $200 from my sales goal and having a tough day, and you ask me if it’s going to be cheaper tomorrow, I may lie.
Kevin Dutton is the author of The Wisdom of Psychopaths — What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success (Scientific America/FSG, $26). Here are 11 Signs your boss may be a psychopath!
1. Emotional powerplay
Psychopaths are social chameleons and can change their psychological spots in the blink of an eye if they think they can benefit from doing so. Playing on sympathy is a favourite weapon of choice.
Make no mistake: psychopaths are confident, outgoing and mentally resilient, hardly ever, in reality, feeling sorry for themselves. But they are also master manipulators and have no qualms whatsoever about tugging on our emotional heartstrings if it works to their advantage.
Sympathy is a powerful motivator – a fact not lost on psychopaths even though they never feel it – and they are extremely adept at eliciting pity and compassion.
WARNING LIGHT: Consistently poor behaviour with frequent appeals to mitigating circumstances and pleas for support and understanding is one of the psychopath’s most recognizable kitemarks – in both the corporate realm and that of everyday life.
2. Control freak
Psychopaths are emotional chess players and a psychopathic boss sees his employees merely as pieces on an invisible psychological chessboard: disposable, dispensable, superfluous.
Psychopaths love to pick people up, move people round, make people jump just for the sake of it – even if, sometimes, it’s not to their immediate benefit. Unnecessary rearrangements of workspace, the sudden imposition of unsocial working hours, and the promise of favours for dishing the dirt on colleagues are just a few psychopathic favourites.
WARNING LIGHT: If you’re left scratching your head on yet another occasion as you try to figure out the rationale for your boss’s behaviour – then the answer might be simpler than you think.
Psychopaths are past masters at making scintillating first impressions and possess an innate gift for making you feel as if you’re the only person in the room.
They are brilliant psychologists. They know that, through evolution, our brains are programmed to put a lot of store in initial encounters and so they bank substantial emotional ‘capital’ early in a new relationship by turning on the charm.
One psychopath I interviewed put it like this: “Charm is the ability to roll out a red carpet for those you cannot stand in order to fast-track them, as smoothly and efficiently as possible, in the direction you want them to go.”
WARNING LIGHT: If you suddenly find that the red carpet is rolled up and that the charm fades quickly during subsequent meetings with your boss leaving you feeling confused and vulnerable, you may well have a psychopath on your hands.
Irrespective of whether they play the charm, manipulation or sympathy cards, psychopaths are corporate vampires and are second to none in their ability to take you into their confidence and suck out valuable new ideas that may have been months in the planning.
A typical ploy is the use of reciprocity – a powerful tool of influence. A psychopath might open the bidding and ‘confide’ in you some low-level idea of his own in order that you follow suit with something better. Once in the psychopath’s possession however, the idea is then ‘confiscated’ and, somewhere down the line, suddenly becomes ‘theirs.’
WARNING LIGHT: If your boss has a habit of taking the credit for work done by others, it might be time to look for work elsewhere.
Psychopaths simply do not live by the same moral code as the rest of us, and experience little guilt or anxiety over telling lies – either to big themselves up, or to dump on others, or both.
In fact, it’s their consummate lack of remorse for misrepresenting the facts that is the single biggest contributor to their inordinate capacity for fabrication. They appear plausible and reasonable and their webs of deceit frequently contain a modicum of truth which they rely on as a safety net should their spurious cover stories come under too close a scrutiny.
WARNING LIGHT: If your relationship with your boss has been plagued by ‘misunderstandings’ and ‘false assumptions’ it might be time to face the real truth.
Psychopaths are completely driven by their own hard-nosed self-interest. Though they may feign concern for others, appearing warm, considerate and even helpful, such interest is shallow and superficial and merely serves as the foreplay for future exploitation. For psychopath, read “ps-I-chopath.”
Psychopathic relationship patterns – in both personal and corporate settings – are stormy and transient. “Friendships” are often terminated without warning, and ties mercilessly severed once an individual ceases to “be of any use.”
Add to this an arrogant, grandiose and egocentric interpersonal style and you have on your hands a ruthless ambition machine with no “off “switch.
WARNING LIGHT: If your boss has been known to fire people for no apparent reason, or has an ostentatious and extravagant profile out of keeping with a more objective assessment of their standing, or has a habit of stealing the limelight…it’s time to leave them to it.
Psychopaths make expert defence attorneys and are supremely skilled at getting themselves off the hook should accusations of incompetence be leveled at them.
Not only do they never accept culpability, but they are also extremely adept at manufacturing evidence that lays the blame for their misdemeanours firmly at someone else’s door.
Psychopathic bosses have no qualms whatsoever in using their employees as ‘reputation shields’ to safeguard their own status within the company.
WARNING LIGHT: If your boss has landed you in it through no fault of your own, start asking questions.
8. Oscar nominated
The brain of the psychopath is wired up in a different way to the rest of ours.
In particular, the part of the brain responsible for emotion – the amygdala – is turned down, meaning that psychopaths do not experience the everyday feelings of fear, regret and disgust so familiar to normal folk.
But that doesn’t stop the psychopath acting scared, sorry or surprised in order to manipulate others. They are perfectly adept at putting on shows of emotion if it helps them get ahead.
A common example is extreme anger in response to a perceived personal insult, an alleged betrayal of trust, or the insufficient demonstration of respect for their authority. But such emotional pyrotechnics are purely for shock-and-awe purposes – coolly calculated psychological bombing raids aimed at minimizing the chances of any future “transgressions.”
WARNING LIGHT: If your boss is prone to extreme displays of emotion then quickly returns to normal as if nothing has happened, you should start to question whether he really feels anything at all.
9. Non risk-averse
Imagine someone who has a warped perception of speed: someone who, through some weird trick of nature, perceives things happening at a much slower rate than they actually do.
You wouldn’t want to get in a car with them, would you? Well, it’s exactly the same with psychopaths – except for speed, read danger.
The neural power-cut in the fear zip code of psychopaths’ brains means that things that would scare the hell out of the rest of us just don’t have the same impact on these ice-cool emotional androids.
This, of course, gives psychopaths their enviable sang-froid, their composure under fire – and explains why they often do quite well for themselves in high-wire professions such as the media, finance and certain echelon areas of the military.
But it can, at times, also lead to unnecessary risk-taking – and, to return to the speed analogy, can often result in the car veering out of control and crashing off the road as opposed to a speedier journey time (as if we need any reminding with the global financial crisis.)
WARNING LIGHT: Risky investments, unwise alliances, inappropriate behaviour, risqué comments… if this sounds like your boss you may want to look for another one.
Psychopaths are attracted to positions of influence in which they can satisfy their need to control and manipulate others.
Last year, I launched the Great British Psychopath Survey. The survey is unique: the first of its kind to assess the prevalence of psychopathic traits within an entire national workforce. What would turn out to be the UK’s most psychopathic profession? I wondered.
The results made interesting reading. CEOs, media folk, lawyers, surgeons, police officers, the clergy…any line of work which boasts a definitive hierarchical infrastructure and affords a position of power over others which may be wielded with relative impunity is ideally suited to the psychopathic personality.
WARNING LIGHT: If your boss has a tendency to step on those beneath him but goes out of his way to impress those above him, it’s time to move sideways…to another department or company.
11. X Factor
Hollywood movies typically portray the psychopath as an intense, menacing figure who makes the hairs on the back of one’s neck stand on end – and there’s evidence to suggest this is true.
Psychopaths often do give out a certain ‘aura’ and folk sometimes report experiencing unnerving physical sensations in their presence such as “he sends a chill up my spine” and “he makes my skin crawl.”
WARNING LIGHT: If you sometimes feel uneasy around your boss, and are uncomfortable being on your own with him for any length of time, trust your gut instinct: GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!
It was a crazy day on GetRealLive. Susan and Scott decided to walk down memory lane and laugh about the things we loved growing up. From TV Trays, Stacking stools, The Flintstones at lunch and enjoying A&W in your car with the tray firmly strapped to your window. What ever happened to that?!
Plus a Vancouver mom is letting her 5 year old pole dance for exercise. Susan definitely had some thoughts on that! Bring back the Canadian Fitness Test we say!
Free for all Friday was a blast!! Listen on demand as Susan and Scott weigh in on all the Hot topics. Plus Morgan joins the conversation and things get really out of hand. Let GetRealLive brings some excitement and laughter to your day.
You can listen on demand or download from iTunes here.
You know that feeling on Sunday night when you think about going back to work? That feeling on Monday is a little thing we called “Mondayitis’. Listen on demand as Susan and Scott engage in Hot Topics and bring a little light to your Monday morning helping you ease into your week. Today we chatted about breaking up with a bff, crazy church signs that make us laugh and porn for mommies on the rise. Yeah, that’s what we thought! Plus, we speak to Tara Sheahan who teaches us the importance of practicing happiness and how that can affect our surrounding atmospheres.
Listen below or download from iTunes. Happy Monday!