In every relationship, whether it be marriage, dating or friendship there is one common denominator. YOU! Everywhere you go you take your personality, passion and yes, problems. Sometimes we wonder why we experience the same outcomes in our relationships. Bridges burned, feelings hurts or bad break ups. At some point one must realize that it not may be the other people that are causing the problem, but it you may be you contributing.  It is so easy to get frustrated at others, pointing out problems and creating drama, but it is more difficult to look at your own self.

Relationships are something that have to be worked on everyday. Every person is different and dynamics differ from person to person. Yet, one thing we can resolve immediately is what dynamics you bring as the common denominator. A good place to start is to stop looking at others as the problem and start asking yourself if you are part of the problem.

Socrates said ‘The unexamined life is not worth living’. It would seem that the best way to excel in all relationships is to deal with yourself first. This certainly isn’t easy, but will be one of the most beneficial things that can be done.

You are never responsible for how others react or respond. You certainly cannot control others. However, the only person you can control is yourself. Michael Jackson’s famous song stated that he was starting with the man in the mirror. This truly is the only way to ignite change. Start with yourself. Deal with yourself. Control yourself. Here are some tips to live a self examined life.


  1. Take a Personality Test– There are a number of tests that can be done in order to reveal your strengths, weaknesses and how you interact with others. Understanding yourself and why you respond the way you do will be a lifesaver!
  2. It Takes Two to Tango– When dealing in relationships, be willing to admit where you contribute to the problem. It is impossible that it is 100% the other person. You are in there somewhere. Acknowledge and deal with it and take personal responsibility.
  3. Turn the Tables– You have to learn to see things from the other side. Everyone has a view point which is valid.  Putting yourself in someone else’s position helps immensely when it comes to seeing the big picture.
Listen to our interview with John and Helen Burns as they give amazing insight on building strong, healthy relationships.


Listen to internet radio with Susan J Sohn on Blog Talk Radio