To my fellow parents….. Have you ever found yourself wishing that when you left the hospital with your newborn babe in your arms the Doctor or Nurse would have handed you a book saying, ‘Read this and your ride will be smooth – it has all the answers to every question you’ll ever have hidden in these pages.’ Not sure about you but there were times and still are when I find myself reaching for such a book but alas it’s never to be found.
Have you ever tried to get out of an appointment with a friend and instead of being honest with them, you make up some excuse just so you don’t have to tell them you would rather stay home and relax in your PJ’s? You commit to an evening but decide you are so comfortable at home, you just send a message that says, “not feeling well, have to cancel’. It’s even easier now with text because God forbid we pick up the phone, call our friends and actually speak to them. How about flattery just to get the conversation going such as “Nice haircut” when we are really thinking, “wow did you get that done at Petsmart”. Max Lucado wrote in one of his books, “flattery is just fancy dishonesty”.
What is it inside of us that feels we need to lie to our friends just so we can change plans, be comfortable at home or even maintain a friendship? Is this even a friendship? After all, aren’t your friends suppose to the people that stand by you, trust you and support you. So, do we actually build our relationships by being honest or do we hinder them.
Maybe this is why people loved Simon Cowell so much when he came on the scene. Finally, someone who says it like it is. Then there are those parents who haven’t had the guts to tell their kids they sound like a foghorn so they send them to these reality shows for the slaughter.
I would rather a friend be completely honest with me than tell me a lie. What’s worse is most people can see through those lies. Not only is honestly the best policy but also it’s actually the foundation that all relationships should be built on. Here are some Authenticity Rules.
- Don’t hide behind excuses- Everyone has a family, job and responsibilities. If you want to stay home and relax just say that. We get it!! Don’t use these to justify a lie.
- Understand that honestly build a relationship, lies push people away- There is no quicker way to dissolve trust than to be dishonest. People talk and word gets around. Value all relationships by being authentic as this will not only draw you closer but also is a sign of respect for others.
- Being honest doesn’t mean being rude- You can be honest in a respectable, discreet manner. Shouting across a room and cutting someone down only belittles people and usually comes from a need of validation. True authenticity takes strength and grace.
- We can read your facial expressions- Authenticity comes through in the face, the eyes and body language. If you are sincere, it shows in every way. If what you are communicating is true, it will be evident on all fronts!
Authenticity Rules and should guide all our relationships making them stronger and life long!